What the HELL What's Up VANDERVOORTS

oh, the heartache

2006-02-05T07:33:00.000-08:00

Oh, What's Up Vandervoorts, I thought you were finally on the right track. I thought my job here was done -- for months, you've been doing quite a decent job, and I was able to stay silently in the background (my favorite place, darlings) -- getting manicures, pedicures, brazilian waxes, and going to all the best parties.

And then this had to happen. The Vandervoorts play a show -- one of their best I might add -- and where were you?! I don't know if you were there, as I am not entirely sure what you look like, and I must say that the choice of venue made me a little bit uncomfortable (my adorable outfit, although I did grunge it up a bit, stood out just a *little* bit in this scene, you see) -- but a better, more floor-shaking show I haven't seen yet. At one point I was so close to the "stage" that Mark Vandervoort (purrr) almost hit me in the face with his microphone! It was delicious.

So get on it, What's Up Vandervoorts. If you didn't even have the good grace to be there, a few words of apology would be nice. And if you were there, well then, let's hear about it! I know, you didn't even announce the show (you do have readers, you know), but you can at least try to make it up with grace.

fondly,
Kitty Balboa

nice job What's Up VANDERVOORTS

2004-07-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

Glad to see your'e keeping on top of things. I haven't had to post in a while. I see that you've started a new blog -- just make sure that your new project doesn't distract you from your real work (tracking the progress of the Vandervoorts)!

Just a quick note to say that I'll be there with bells on at the v.voorts show tonight -- one *very* confidential source says that mark vandervoort will be wearing a polo shirt. Mmmm, baby! I hope he keeps all the buttons unbuttoned.

See you tonight, darlings.

Kisses,
Kitty Balboa

pink, but hardly big

2004-06-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

so the young man over at What's Up VANDERVOORTS seems to think it is hilarious that my name is kitty and my blog is pink. well, mister, let's just clarify two things: one, my name is kitty, I am not A kitty. it's a nickname, dig? and as for being big, i weigh in at a VERY respectable 105 lbs, thank you very much (and thank you, dr. atkins!) -- and as for being pink, i think we can all agree that pink is the best color there is. personally i think the vandervoorts should write a song about something pink, and mark vandervoort can open his adorable little pink mouth and sing.

tina turner vs. mark vandervoort

2004-06-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

well, the dear boy at What's Up VANDERVOORTS appears to be hitting his stride again, although it's too early to say whether he will keep up the good work. it's true, mark vandervoort's rendition of private dancer was spine-tingling...but that might have been simply because i so want him to be my private dancer, darlings.

keep blogging!

kisses,
kitty balboa

the beauty of mark vandervoort

2004-05-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

hello again, darlings! i'm so glad to see i'm getting feedback from you already...as one of my sweet readers astutely pointed out, it's a shame this article doesn't mention mark vandervoort. because if beauty is the musician's curse, the vandervoorts, with that heartbreaker as their frontman, are doomed! mee-ow.

WHAT'S UP VANDERVOORTS UPDATE:

nice try, darling, but you'll have to do better than that if you want to keep me entertained...

an open letter to Whats Up VANDERVOORTS

2004-05-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

dear Whats Up VANDERVOORTS,

what the hell? why have you totally dropped the ball on recording the exploits of the vandervoorts and their hotter-than-hot lead singer, mark vandervoort? there was a show, two vandervoorts got MARRIED (breaking this young scenester's heart in the process, i might add), and your most recent post is some crap about a book with the same name as the vandervoorts?

i expected more from you.

i'm not going to talk here about how hard the vandervoorts rocked their own damn wedding reception, not to mention how steamy mark looked in a tux (that drummer's not bad, either) because that's your job. i'm just here to keep you on your toes, and make sure you don't miss anything. i used to think you were the best gossip-blogger since my prep-school newspaper's gossip columnist, lars van helsen. sometimes you even made him look dull! i'd love to see you regain that old entertaining spark.

so get on it!

kisses,
kitty balboa

What the HELL What's Up VANDERVOORTS

2004-05-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

What the hell?!